World Free Stuff

An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a Sydney construction site.

The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, “You’re in charge of sweeping.”

To the Irishman he says “You’re in charge of shoveling.”

To the Chinese guy, “You’re in charge of supplies.”

He then says, “Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile.”

So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, but when he returns the pile of sand is untouched.

He says to the Italian: “Why didn’t you sweep any of it?”

The Italian replies in a heavy accent, “I no gotta broom, an’ you tella me dat de Chinese’a guy supposa bringa da supplies, but he disappear and I no finda him.”

Then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn’t shovel.

The Irishman replies in his heavy brogue, “Aye, that ye did, but I couldn’t get meself a shovel. Ye left the Chinese fella in charge of supplies, but I couldn’t fin’ him.”

The foreman is really angry now, and storms off looking for the Chinese guy.

He can’t find him anywhere and is getting angrier by the minute.
Just then, the Chinese guy springs out from behind the pile of sand and yells… “Supplies!!”

The doctor said, “Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.
The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare
condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and
the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the
pressure is to remove the testicles.”

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to
live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first
time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part
of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt
like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men’s clothing store and thought, “That’s what I need… a
new suit.”
He entered the shop and the old the salesman, “I’d like a new suit.”

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, “Let’s see… size 44
long.”

Joe laughed, “That’s right, how did you know?”

“Been in the business 60 years!” the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit.. it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, “How about
a new shirt?”

Joe thought for a moment and then said, “Sure.”

The salesman eyed Joe and said, “Let’s see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2
neck.”

Joe was surprised, “That’s right, how did you know?”

The salesman said, “Been in the business 60 years.”

Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked,
“How about some new underwear?”

Joe thought for a moment and said, “Sure.”

The salesman said, “Let’s see… size 36.”

Joe laughed, “Ah ha! I got you, I’ve worn a size 34 since I was 18
years old.”

The salesman shook his head, “You can’t wear a size 34. A size 34
would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and
give you one hell of a headache.”

New suit – $400

New shirt – $36

New underwear – $6

Second Opinion – PRICELESS