World Free Stuff

A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp
partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.

Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three
wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear.
The next thing the guy knows, he’s in a bedroom, in a mansion
surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and
begins to explore the house.

Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he looks down and the
floor is covered in $1,000 bills. Then, there’s a knock at the door…
He answers it and standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux
Klan outfits.

They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb
and hang him by the neck until he’s dead.

As the Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods; it’s the two
blonde genies.

One blonde genie says to the other one,” I can understand the first
wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to.
I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire but…..

…why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me!”

In a small cathedral, a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the priest.

The priest asked the janitor, “Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on and on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she’s done, just give her 10 Hail Marys. I’ll be right back.”

Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected, Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession.

“Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable,” she said. “I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex.”

Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation—surely 10 Hail Marys would not do. So in a moment of desperation, the janitor peeked his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, “Son, what does the priest give for oral sex?”

The altar boy replied, “Two Snickers bars and a Coke.”