World Free Stuff

There was a bear and a rabbit, coming down in a path, in the big forest. Along the road they met a golden frog. The frog said “Since not many animals visits me, I grant you both 3 wishes”. The bear wished fast, that every bear besides him were female bears. “Done” the frog said.
The rabbit wished for a bike helmet. And he got that.
Next thing that the bear wished what the the neighbour forest bear’s were all females. And his wish were forfilled.
Then the rabbit wished for a motorbike. The rabbit got the bike and swung up on it.
The bear’s last wish were that all bears in the whole world besides him were female bears. The frog forfilled the bear’s last wish, and looked on the rabbit.
The rabbit said “I wish that this bear, who stands next to me, is gay forever”, and the rabbit started the engine and drove away.

A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich.
When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant.
A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law. The panda bear tells the policeman that he’s innocent and, if he didn’t believe him, to look in the dictionary. The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up “panda bear.”
It says, ”Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves.”

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Get up from your chair and look at it

Who’s there? O.o Better take care of your little daughters!

A plane was shot down over Iraq and Saddam Hussain captured a Scotsman,an Englishman and an Australian. Saddam says “I’m not as cruel as George Bush says I am You will be given 50 lashes each but you can have whatever you want on your back”
Rishwin goes first and asks for the finest Kangaroo hide there is to cover his back. This is granted and he receives the kangaroo hide before he receives 50 lashes. His back is all torn and bleeding but he survives.
ElMarshal says “I will take it as it comes I will have nothing on my back and will be proud to bear the scars” he shouts defiantly”Stiff upper lip you know eh what” His wish is granted and he receives his 50 lashes, his back torn and bleeding, his ribs fractured and protruding, a terrible mess to behold.
“Now Iain It’s your turn you have the same choice as the other two what would you like on your back” says Saddam.
Iain replies quickly and without hesitation “I’ll have ElMarshal!”

A bear and a rabbit taking a shit in the woods , the bear turns arround and says to the rabbit ” excuse me , do u ever have problems with shit sticking to your fur”
the rabbit said “no” so the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

Frank was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Right after, there was a tap on his shoulder and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said, “That was my cousin and you’ve got two choices … Either I maul you to death or we have sex.”

After considering briefly, Frank decided to accede to the latter alternative. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge.

He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it. Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said, “That was a big mistake, Frank. That was my cousin and you’ve got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex.” Again, Frank thought it was better to cooperate.

Although he survived, it took several months before Frank finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there. The polar bear looked at him very sadly and said, “Admit it, Frank, you don’t come here for the hunting, do you?”