World Free Stuff

A king wanted to improve the mood of his favorite donkey, who was depressed, so he put out a proclamation that he would pay anyone in the kingdom 200 gold pieces if they could make his donkey happy. Many tried, all failed. Then a jester went in to see the donkey, and when he came out, the donkey was indeed happy – so happy in fact, that he was laughing heartily. The jester got the gold, but a few days passed and the king couldn”t make the donkey stop laughing. So he put out another proclamation saying he would pay 500 gold pieces to anyone who could make the donkey stop.
The jester returned, went in to see the donkey for a few seconds, and when he came out, the donkey was crying. The king asked the jester how he did it. The jester said, “I will tell you for another 200 gold pieces.”
When the jester had received his gold, he revealed, “On my first visit, I told the donkey that my dick was bigger than his. This time I showed him.”

A pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he
entered it in the race again, and it won again. The
local newspaper read:

PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity
that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in
another race.

The next day, the local newspaper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the
pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to
give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper,
hearing of the news, posted the following headline the
next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would
have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a
farmer for $10. The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the
nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains
where it could run wild. The next day the headlines
read:

NUN ANNOUNCES…HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The Bishop was buried the next day…