World Free Stuff

There was a bear and a rabbit, coming down in a path, in the big forest. Along the road they met a golden frog. The frog said “Since not many animals visits me, I grant you both 3 wishes”. The bear wished fast, that every bear besides him were female bears. “Done” the frog said.
The rabbit wished for a bike helmet. And he got that.
Next thing that the bear wished what the the neighbour forest bear’s were all females. And his wish were forfilled.
Then the rabbit wished for a motorbike. The rabbit got the bike and swung up on it.
The bear’s last wish were that all bears in the whole world besides him were female bears. The frog forfilled the bear’s last wish, and looked on the rabbit.
The rabbit said “I wish that this bear, who stands next to me, is gay forever”, and the rabbit started the engine and drove away.

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in.
They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in.
After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in.
They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!”

On a lovely sunny day, the Turtle decides to go out to the forest. And so, he goes out, running about the trees and playing, until he sees the Rabbit. And the Rabbit is all high, smoking Mary Jane like there’s no tomorrow, and his mind is high up in the sky. the Turtle sees that and tells him “Yo, Rabbit! Y’know, it ain’t cool doin’ drugs all day! Come with me, let’s go play in the forest!” the Rabbit gazes at him with red eyes, and says “Y’know, Your right. Let’s go!”

And so, they go together, running and playing around the forest, when they see the Squirrel, who’s busy taking cocaine! Line after line, *Snnnnnnnffffffffffffffff*……… *aaaaahhh*…..
So they tell him, “Hey bro’! Lay off the Coke, it ain’t good for ya!” The Squirrel wasn’t so high, so he got their point. “Yeah, You right. I’m comin’ wif ya!”

So, togather all of the three of them are running and laughing together, till they see the Lion. The Lion is real messed up, injecting heroine straight to the vein, ejonying every second,
*Tsssssssssskkkkkkkkkkkk*………. *oh, yeah*…..
Well, you should know the drill by now, “Hey Lion, ma’ man, it ain’t cool what you’re doin’ there man! Lay off that crap, and come with us!”

The Lion stares at them angrily for a moment, and sounds a mighty roar: “ROOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!” Goddammit, I hate this shit! That’s what’s happenin’ EVERY GODDAMN TIME when the Turtle’s takin’ LSD!”

A bear and a rabbit taking a shit in the woods , the bear turns arround and says to the rabbit ” excuse me , do u ever have problems with shit sticking to your fur”
the rabbit said “no” so the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.